Board Thread:Pitches/@comment-17479654-20140112022806/@comment-4146635-20140113205545

I like it a lot. I think it could use a few tweaks maybe to make the plot a bit longer and deeper. So he's with his uncle and his uncle's rival? And the rival gets badly hurt? I don't want to change your vision or the book too much (idk how much it'll change the book since I didn't read it) but maybe we could cut out the uncle from the climbing. This is just an idea and I'll see how you like it:


 * The kid secretly trains with his uncle's rival for months and soon, finally goes to climb the mountain, only a lone. The uncle's rival goes after him thinking he can't make it alone. The two end up climbing it together and they form a close bond. The kid realizes the guy may not be too much a jerk after all but all the while he still feels guilty for associating with this guy who his uncle hates so much. (and then comes the original part) Just before he reaches the top, his uncle's rival gets badly hurt- will he save this guy who has been such a jerk to his uncle or will he fulfill his (and his dad's) long-time dream?